This is my first post and my first piece of advice as part of an alcoholic’s guide to modern life is you need to find yourself a good home.
For Carlo Sands, that is the Shannon Hotel in Chippendale (inner-inner city Sydney).
A lovely review of this delightful drinking hole can be found here
Some of the comments posted include:
"What a miserable place. Filthy and full of drunk losers..."
"A complete dive. Full of pissed middle aged yobos."
"Full of sleazy barman [sic] and low life sad, insecure alcoholic punters."
"Great place for squatters!"
But some of the comments are negative.
In other words, it is a fucking great place for your modern alcoholic to get away from the mobs of marauding young people with their pierced toenails and stupid ring tones, and enjoy a decent drink.
There is nothing worse than trying to enjoy the process of getting drunk surrounded by large numbers of people who are a thousand times more attractive and cooler than you. It is simply distracting.
The Shannon presents no such problems. It is a pub that, trying to be nice, the best thing the reviewer can say about it is it has its own dartboard.
But it is a good dart board, and most importantly, almost always available.
It is an Irish pub, which is defined as one in which the bar manager is always drunk. Paddy, god bless his soul, is no exception. Ever.
He is the only bar manager I have ever seen be thrown out of his own pub. When asked about the incident later, he claimed he wasn't being ejected, merely helped to the door.
And anti-smoking laws remain a "nice theory" within the Shannon's walls.
This, no doubt, makes me a "sad, low life alcoholic". I can only hope so.
At least the rest of you bastards are not getting under my fucking feet when I am trying to down my umpteenth schooner and aim for the general vicinity of the dartboard.
All that said, I do have to confess that if I was to offer one point of constructive criticism, it would be that perhaps The Shannon Hotel could be improved by, maybe, the occasional cleaning of the toilets.
Just a suggestion.