Saturday, November 03, 2007

I KILL YOU NOW FUCK OFF AND GET ME A DRINK - a poem

I have not posted for some time. Far from slacking, I have been working furiously on my greatest artistic work, the creation of which my whole life has been working towards. The jewel in my creative cultural life, everything I have every wanted to say, every emotion I have ever felt moved to express, is in these lines.

Here, finally, I present it for the viewing of the general public.

I KILL YOU NOW FUCK OFF AND GET ME A DRINK

I kill you
Why?
Because you are a bastard
And you deserve to die
Violently
Why?
Because you are a fucking arsehole
I will kill you again
What do you mean I can only kill you once?
Why are you talking, you are dead!
Now fuck off and get me a drink

Carlo Sands,
November 2007

I await my Nobel Prize.

9 comments:

  1. Bwa ha I loved it!

    Now feck off and make me a sammich.....

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  2. Finally outdone. J. Keats.

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  3. Thank you , J. Keats, it takes a big man to admit that. This poem has been published for a full five years now, but better late to admit what the rest of the world has long concluded than never eh?

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  4. There are no words.....or....a future classic...

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    Replies
    1. Wellboth can't be true, and as it happens neither are. IT IS A MOTHERFUCKING CLASsIC NOW!!!

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  5. I think that the drink could be fuelling your anger

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    Replies
    1. WHERE THE *FUCK* IS MY DRINK, UNKNOWN, IF THAT REALLY IS YOUR NAME?????

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  6. I think that the drink could be fuelling your anger

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    Replies
    1. Well how the hell can I remember if it was? This is from 2007 *and* I was drunk.

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