Saturday, November 03, 2007

I KILL YOU NOW FUCK OFF AND GET ME A DRINK - a poem

I have not posted for some time. Far from slacking, I have been working furiously on my greatest artistic work, the creation of which my whole life has been working towards. The jewel in my creative cultural life, everything I have every wanted to say, every emotion I have ever felt moved to express, is in these lines.

Here, finally, I present it for the viewing of the general public.

I KILL YOU NOW FUCK OFF AND GET ME A DRINK

I kill you
Why?
Because you are a bastard
And you deserve to die
Violently
Why?
Because you are a fucking arsehole
I will kill you again
What do you mean I can only kill you once?
Why are you talking, you are dead!
Now fuck off and get me a drink

Carlo Sands,
November 2007

I await my Nobel Prize.

7 comments:

  1. Bwa ha I loved it!

    Now feck off and make me a sammich.....

    ReplyDelete
  2. Finally outdone. J. Keats.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thank you , J. Keats, it takes a big man to admit that. This poem has been published for a full five years now, but better late to admit what the rest of the world has long concluded than never eh?

    ReplyDelete
  4. There are no words.....or....a future classic...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wellboth can't be true, and as it happens neither are. IT IS A MOTHERFUCKING CLASsIC NOW!!!

      Delete
  5. I think that the drink could be fuelling your anger

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well how the hell can I remember if it was? This is from 2007 *and* I was drunk.

      Delete