I never thought such a day would come.
I mean, this is one crazy, mixed up world — that no one can deny.
But there has always been a constant. One thing on which we could hold on to. Something solid in this ever-changing world.
Something that represented all that was good, decent and worth holding on to as we slide further and further towards the abyss of barbarism.
Shane MacGowan's teeth.
Comrade MacGowan's teeth were a symbol of everything right in the world. A rebellion against all that was false, manufactured, artificially smooth.
A permanent defence of permanent drunkenness — years of abuse of intoxicants created those teeth! They were an achievement, a life well lived!
Of course, it should be added than an apparently decisive moment came when he allegedly broke his set badly after an all-day drinking session that ended with him tripping over a pile of bricks.
But such a gain is not just the product of one day's work. You spend your life drunk, sooner or later you will trip over a pile of bricks and create a mouth to be proud of!
But, it pains me to say, no more.
No, Shane MacGowan has turned his back on everything he once stood for.
He has gotten his chompers fixed.
Yes, this is how he spent the money he eared from a recent tour with a re-grouped Pogues.
This raises serious ethical questions.
Did those Pogues fans forking out hard-earned cash to go and see the original Pogues line up, with MacGowan out front once more, know this is how the tour's profits would be spent?
Did they know that they would be complicit in MacGowan betraying everything he once stood for?
That he would bugger off to fucking Spain to fill the bank account of some overpaid tooth quack to fix him up with some new-fangled fangs?
Well check it out. Here is Shane as we knew and loved him.
And here he is after his cosmetic surgery.
You see how he has caved in to the demands to submit to the dominant body image? See how smooth and conventionally handsome he now looks?
Oh the shame of it all.
I firmly belief that this is the first sign of the coming Armageddon.
And I will say this: if it turns out that Comrade MacGowan has started attending AA meetings, then the final battle between good and evil will have begun.
If this is the case, I trust all readers of this blog will find themselves in the front line — broken whiskey bottle in hand.
'I'll chop you down like an old dead tree...' A good example of Shane MacGowan's teeth in the pre-Armageddon days, before we were over-taken by the all-encompassing battle between the forces of Good and Evil.