Dedicated readers of this blog will know that i have had a love and hate relationship with The Shannon Hotel, on Abercrombie Street in the inner-Sydney suburb of Chippendale over the years.
But, give them their due, they let Carlo Sands test out some of the things I badly think need ranting about last Tuesday at their Comedy on the Edge. That's right, five minutes straight of Carlo Sands ranting.
Well, I say "let Carlo Sands". I wasn't actually there, on stage, in person. I got some hack to do it for me. I felt if I tried it in person, the sheer glory of my cheekbones (as can be seen by my profile pic for this blog) would just far too distracting.
So, naturally, I got a redhead to deliver my lines. People always laugh at redheads, either that or physically attack them. (Interestingly, there is some good news for humanity on this front, with an international network of sperm banks banning redheads from donating. Apparently, and understandably, simply no one wants the stuff (except Ireland where sperm of redheaded origin "sells like hotcakes").
You can watch the clips, expertly filmed by a renowned director, who may or may not be both redheaded and Irish, below.
I can't say, in all honesty, I am entirely happy with how it went. I mean, for fuck's sake, I was trying to sound the warning that the FUCKING GOVERNMENT is coming for OUR GODDAMN GOON and these bastards simply LAUGHED! Did they not believe me? I was hoping for small riot at least.
It just goes to show, if you want something done properly, NEVER get a redhead to do it for you.